7 Years, 7 Lessons: Getting Older and Learning

My word for the year is BLOOM. As I celebrate the anniversary of Gero-What?! and reflect on the past seven years, I feel this word is so appropriate for where I am in my aging experience. For those who may not know, I launched Gero-What? on March 26, 2018, which was also my 30th birthday. At the time I was legit just trying to figure things out (still am, if I'm being real). I didn't have a clear direction.

Looking back, I can see the soil, the seeds planted, the watering from tears I cried, and the sunny days have led me to this moment. Today, I'm finally in a place where I can say: I'm blooming. These past seven are a testament that it was nobody but God who brought me to this point.

So, here's seven lessons I've learned along the way. Lessons that I hope will encourage you as you navigate your own aging experience.

1. In the moments when things are overwhelming and anxiety is high, remember God is your safe place: we don't hear a lot of discussion about spirituality and it's connection to the aging experience, but I'm here to tell you it plays a huge role in mine. Anxiety is real, and is something we all feel whether we talk about it or not. It can feel like you’re drowning, or like a weight that's holding you down. And if you’re not aware of it, it can spiral fast. My connection with God has become my anchor. It’s through prayer, stillness, and being honest with God that I’ve learned what safety feels like in those moments.

   
   

2. Vulnerability is a sign of strength: I don’t know about you, but I didn’t grow up talking about feelings. I showed them through crying, yelling, withdrawing, but naming them? That was not in my skillset, until last year. The Feelings Wheel is a life-saver (shout out to therapy). I’ve learned that whether I feel sad, rejected, valued, provoked, or joyful, being vulnerable with the people who love me isn’t weakness. It’s courageous. It takes strength to say, “Here’s how I’m really feeling.” So, keep in mind that naming your emotions is a skill. This skill can grow the more we practice it and can support us through the aging process, not just emotionally but relationally too.

3. Perfectionism is the root of inadequacy: Hello, my name is Christina and I am a recovering perfectionist. Why? Well, because for years, I was stuck in a cycle of comparing myself to others. I believed the negative things I heard growing up. Things that told me I wasn’t good enough and those words became my truth. As I got older, in my mind, everything had to be perfect, but in reality? Even what I thought was “perfect” really wasn’t. It wasn’t until a few years ago that someone called it out for me. That’s when it hit home:

   
   

   My obsession with being perfect was actually feeding my feelings of inadequacy.

   
   

   I believed if I didn’t present myself a certain way, if I didn’t “have it all together,” I wouldn’t be accepted. The devil is a lie. It’s my imperfections that make me real. It’s my voice, my body, my story, just as it is, that make me whole. Now, I don’t accept every piece of feedback or criticism as truth. Some comments may highlight areas where I can grow, sure, but others? That ish is just noise I let roll off my back, or if you like to dance a lil', twerk it off. That's freedom. Give it a try.

4. Finding joy in the small things is self-care: We often think of self-care as spa days or vacations, but what about the small daily things that bring us joy? That’s self-care too. A few weeks ago, I spotted a random flower growing out of my plant. I still don’t know how it got there, but it brought me so much joy. Joy is in watering my plants, watching the little girl across the street play with her grandma, or even fresh sheets on my bed! Self-care doesn’t have to cost a thing. It can be as simple as sipping a glass of water and feeling refreshed. Let's start paying attention to the little details of life that bring us joy.

   
   

5. Your opinion about your life choices is the only one that matters: If I could look you in the eyes while I say this next sentence, I would, but just pretend for now. Your aging experience is YOURS to define and I’ll keep saying that until I’m no longer on this earth.

   
   

   The beauty of blooming is knowing that I am navigating life the way I want to. If you want to be single with no kids and travel the world, do that. If you want to be married, child-free, or a stay-at-home plant parent, do that. We live in a culture where loved ones, friends, and even strangers feel entitled to offer opinions about what your life should look like. Let me tell you what I've learned to do with those opinions: Twerk. Them. Off.

6. Release un-forgiveness: Whew. Now this lesson? I just learned it a few weeks ago (See? Growth is ongoing). I never realized how much I hold grudges. I also didn’t realize how un-forgiveness was showing up in my body as tension, tightness, and stress. Turns out, it’s actually harder on me to hold onto the hurt than it is to release it. Forgiveness doesn’t mean everything’s okay. It means you’re choosing peace over weight. Ask yourself: what am I still holding onto? Release it. Then pay attention to what shifts in your spirit and in your aging experience.

   
   

7. No matter what, you will forever and always have THE JUICE: Of all the lessons I’ve learned, this one might be the loudest: I’ve always had the juice.

   Even when I wasn’t doing my absolute best, my passion, my presence, my purpose, it all spoke for itself. One of my friends once told me, “If you ever start believing in yourself, it’s gonna change everything.” Now? I see it. Clearly. I’ve got a light that nobody can dim. Even if they tried, it wouldn’t matter.

   
   

   This juice is God-given. So, let me remind you: You’ve got light. You’ve got juice. It’s still yours, no matter what age, no matter what chapter.

   Navigate your aging experience with that BIG JUICE ENERGY.

I’m so grateful. To everyone who’s poured into me, supported me, challenged me, and even those I had to let go of. You were all part of the process. You helped me BLOOM.

Now, let me go play "Life Will Be," by Cleo Sol and soak all of this in.

Be Blessed,

Christina