"Congratulations, you are officially a homeowner," said the Attorney after I signed the last closing document for my new home. *sigh Typing that made me tear up because the journey to July 12th was not easy and to be honest, it only got more challenging after closing. It reminds me of how we see aging at times, challenging. From changes in our body, socioeconomic status, family, and life in general these challenges can make us question our existence on earth. I feel like a broken record when I tell people how mentally challenging 2019 has been for me, but should I have really expected less? Has there been a level in my life that was less than challenging? No! Even in my childhood I faced challenges. So, why not appreciate the challenges because in someway they have really been an enhancement to my character, how I think, my choice of words (I still curse...a lot), and all in all my decision to choose being positive over anything else.
Usually we wait until the end of the year to do a reflection of how things went for us, but I keep finding myself reflecting weekly. Last week I was frustrated and overwhelmed. I didn't bother to tell anyone during the time because I internalize a lot. I haven't moved into my home yet and all I kept thinking was "I thought things would get easier after closing day, not the opposite." I found myself lacking gratitude for the things that have happened and it was difficult to choose positivity in that moment. Well, after talking to a friend the other day, the sum of it all was "S*** could be worse." While doing this whole aging thing, I'm reminding myself of a few things..
1. Chill Shawty (shawty = woman, lady, girl): Just chill. Let things play out even in the most uncomfortable situations. Rest your mind and remember some things are out of your control, what will worrying or creating negative thoughts really do? Some days don't feel good, some days can be very stressful, especially when we try to figure out the ending, but...Chill Shawty (or dude).
2. Be Grateful: With all of the good things that have happened to me just in a week alone, why am I focusing on things I do not yet have? Why am I giving so much energy to my feelings of frustration? It's so much easier to show gratitude and I'm sure you all have seen the powerful surge that social media has had with showing gratitude.
3. Keep Moving: Even when things are not working, the last thing we want to do is stop. Just like when we are exercising, to stop abruptly in the middle of high cardio and not keep your feet moving can cause you to become lightheaded, along with other things. The moments that I considered stopping, I kept getting a weird feeling in my gut that reminded me if I don't move the pain will be worse than it is right now. So, when that knee isn't acting right, when you have an overdue bill that is headed to the collection agency, when your kids are getting on your last nerve, when you fail a major exam....Keep Moving.
Chill Shawty, be grateful and keep moving.
It's important to reflect and be grateful for where we are in life. How else can we view aging in a positive light if all we ever focus on is negativity?
Check out my latest episode of Real Homies Wanna Know, which is just a recap of closing day!
*Some of this you may have heard in someone else's words, but there's nothing wrong with a little reminder here and there.*
Be grateful because there's someone else who'd love to be in your shoes. -Walter Hawkins
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